So last week I wrote about ‘Passion Projects' being the nearest thing I have found to that total sense of escapism through creative pursuit, which I now often miss in my every day journaling practice.
But this week I want to write about how wishing for that level of escape in my everyday creativity which I used to have every-single-time I created (or any previous stage of creative pursuit), to be back again, is utter madness.
So what do I feel now when I create:
Joy & Happiness
Excitement & Enthusiasm
Interest & Intention
Challenges & Blocks
Hiccups & Frustration
Relief & Burnout
So what did I feel then when I created:
Utter Joy & Total Lack of Thought.
So the above list of previous things I used to feel when creating looks pretty good. The current list of what I feel...well when compared to the other, not so good. But the list of feelings I have when I create now is pretty much given in order of how I project runs & this is telling in itself.
It shows how now the process is more meaty. It shows how it's actually evolved into a process.
My previous when-I-created feelings show creation happened without any process in mind occuring at all. It was just done. And that total sense of escapism into the art could only occur because a) I didn't have very much time to create, so that which I did was precious and b) I was very unhappy, dealing with grief and a bunch of other negative feelings to do with working in a soul-sucking rat race environment. Back then I thought if I was gifted with more time to create and happier life circumstances then I would be MADE UP. Well guess what? I am now living that life, and it is and isn't how I imagined it would be.
I create, create, create as I imagined I would, but not in the simple one-dimensional level I did before. This means I cannot always be completely immersed in the art because the expansion of life caused an expansion in my art. I am no longer satisfied just slapping paint down, I want there to be meaning behind it, I want to use a plethora of techniques, I want to be sharing or teaching it. So while I may occasionally crave the 'Utter Joy & Total Lack of Thought' the pursuit of art used to bring, MY CREATIVITY CRAVES MORE
...and besides, the price of being unhappy is too high a price to pay to get that again...
...it's like waiting for the relief of water when you've been running for miles on a scorching hot day, verses sitting in a comfortable room and drinking drink after drink consistently. The former is my previous life and the art was the water, but in the latter which is my life now, the thirst cannot be quenched because there is no thirst. I am in a comfortable armchair drinking drink after drink.
So while I sometimes still crave that level of complete escapism I wanted to share this important message if you ever feel the crave for an older time in your creative story to come around again. Whatever benefits there were you have more benefits now because evolution moves in the right direction. Take nature as your teacher if not me for that. It doesn't mean you're may be happy with every decision you've ever made nor that you might not want to pick up some previous habits that served you well once again. Evolution just means the natural progress of your journey, the path, the whole and where you currently are (- and without that path you wouldn't know that you 'want to pick up some previous habits that served you well' again anyway). Evolution moves in the right direction because that is the direction it has gone in.
I get emails all the time from people who feel like they've lost their mojo, or find it difficult switching from say scrapbooking to mixed media and even from people who have transferred from creating for the fun of it to doing it for extra income and all feel what I have described here: The longing for the safe, old ways of our creativity & the perplexity and/or distress by the new realities of it.
I think the answer for everyone in such a situation is to understand the essence of this:
It is just Your Creative Evolution.
You are on a Journey! Not a One Point Stop.
It Gives more than it Takes.
Lean into it, because it will happen anyway.
and just for fun...what was my Passion Project this week??
and also making clay things as you can see from the top right.
That's all from me this week,
what have you been up to? Please share in the comments below
Have a great weekend
PS Checked out my new class yet??? It launched this week, here are the details:
The Journal Playdate is a workshop consisting of ten video steps that are each five minutes in length or under so you can follow along then go execute, follow along then go execute. It is how I would teach you to create an art journal page WITH MEANING if I was with you. Some great pages are already being shared, come join in.
You can check out the full details of the Playdate here: http://journalworkshops.ning.com/page/journal-playdates