Monday, 23 January 2012

I'm Not Okay

I don't usually blog about feelings, but my mood is dominating my creativity at the moment. I don't know what is wrong with me, I have nothing to complain of - I should be as happy as Larry...but I'm not. We've all been there right?
I decided to try and funnel these feelings into a singular place & so I bound this quick journal with a double page spread for each day for a week. This above is yesterdays page, and I'm hoping a week is enough to rid myself of this mood via journaling. Yesterdays helped for about 10 minutes and that was it, but I have real difficulty with the 'allowing' part of feeling anything other than perfectly fine in my emotions. But I was once told it is okay not to be okay and if you accept that your head sorts itself out a lot quicker. So that's why I allowed bad feelings to dominate this page and I'm hoping that by doing this it will mean todays spread will help for 20 minutes and tomorrows half an hour and so on...

Finally I usually include my recent videos in my blog posts so to stick with tradition here is the Journals from Greetings Cards Tutorials I've recently put up on Youtube:
Part I
Part II
Thanks to everyone who has left lovely comments etc I'm so glad they are liked :) I'm off to finish the mini books tutorial I'll be uploading next and possibly do the next page of that journal. I hope your creative instinct is feeling a little happier than mine right now, much love Jennibellie xxx

32 comments:

  1. Dang Jennibellie. I wish I was there to give you a hug! And to listen to you sort your mind out. But it WILL come. You've been doing TONS of work and after a big project...it's normal to feel a bit of a let-down. For the more passionate of this world...the let-down is harder. Allow yourself to feel how you feel...but please know that you are a very special, unique, lovely individual who deserves the best, the most and all good things that go along with that. Much love coming your way...

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  2. Nope! I have been "off" myself--sleeping days--and just feeling punkish. I am just waiting for it to pass, too. It will. Yours will, too. :)

    I have just loved the first two videos!! Can hardly wait for the next two, but don't push yourself. I am patient. ;)

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  3. Marvelous creation to 'heal the blues' ~ Bravo! ~namaste, carol (Share the Creative Journey) linked w/ CED

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  4. It's a January thing for me, the flat feeling you get after Christmas when spring seems a long way off and I can't get in the mood for crafting and everything seems to take too much effort. Still if I could produce a journal page like yours it would certainly cheer me up - instead I'm off to enjoy the second of your recycled journal videos.

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  5. I have been struggling, feeling blocked and wondering what the heck I'm doing? But I decided to just give into it and plod along. It's a horrid feeling and I'm sorry you are going through it, but maybe there doesn't HAVE to be a reason. Life has it's ups and downs, waves, and our hormones and brain chemicals sometimes dictate those ups and downs. I agree with what someone told you, that it's okay not to feel okay. I think your journal page is a great start and idea, and just doodling in it whatever comes to mind might really start the journey to feeling NOT blue.

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  6. Sometimes just accepting the icky mood makes it move out faster. Good for you. I was inspired to make a cereal box cover this weekend to show
    some student's coming to my studio on Wednesday - all thanks to you...have a good - well almost evening for you. xox Corrine

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  7. I don't like seeing that you're not okay--that's not okay, okay? Seriously, maybe you just needed a little down time for relaxation and renewal--you've been going at warp speed at least since November, right? I still can't believe you successfully completed both AEDM *and* NaNoWriMo--you're my hero :)

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  8. Damn right it's ok not to be ok, and it's even better if you can paint the emotion, or write it, or sing it... Good for you for giving your emotions a voice. Anger (or sadness, or melancholy, or whatever) are as important as happiness. There's a quote by Rainer Maria Rilke that says: BEAR YOUR SADNESS WITH GREATER TRUST THAN YOUR JOY. You did just that, Jenny. Wooo hoooo!

    life isn't always sparkles & rainbows, right?
    big hugs,
    xoxo

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  9. ps: LOVE the I'm not ok blue girl journal pages...
    xoxo

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  10. Enjoyed your videos very much. Hope things brighten up for you. Sending ::good vibes:: your way. Take care and remember that life is beautiful.

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  11. Hoping okay is right around the bend for you :).
    Stay inspired!

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  12. (((Jennibellie)))

    Hang in there--it will pass, it's just a matter of outlasting it.

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  13. Sending waves of happy feelings your way! Totally loved your videos and can't wait for the next ones.

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  14. I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but I'm glad that you're trying to accept the mood and work it out through art. That's the best thing you can do right now.

    Another thing to do is really, really pamper yourself. Eat your favorite foods. Nap. Watch movies. A little self care goes a long way!

    Loving the journal pages, and looking forward to watching the tutorials! *Hugs.*

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  15. Hey again Jenny, feeling icky huh?....I too have been feeling crappy, but that's mostly due to a cold. My advice, relax and paint something colorful for the heck of it. In fact, I've noticed that when I'm sad, making a sad picture does help ease the pain, but sometimes it helps to look at colorful pictures done by your favorite artists or even in your own books. I think that the lack of color and light in January is what causes some people to feel sad. So, try looking at something colorful maybe. Hope you feel better soon.

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  16. Awesome Jenny... I love that you are journaling every day... and I love the acceptance part too... it is also the way I try to see things... accept what is... instead of glossing over the way we truly feel... I think your page is wonderful...

    take care
    Jenny x

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  17. love the journal. hope your day brightens.

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  18. You're pages are beautiful and blue...I think you've got it right when you said first ten minutes, then twenty, then thirty minutes...keep on doing what you're doing and you'll come out the other side with a smile!

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  19. This is just what I have been looking for since Christmas and the videos are wonderful! The way you present the instructions is clear and easy to understand and makes me think I can make these journals myself. Also, I love listening to your lovely accent. I was sent to your site by All of Me...Thank you for making these videos available to us. Barbara Karr

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  20. Yes, my friend...I have been there. I have for sure - just feeling yucky and can't exactly figure out why. I hope you feel better soon! I just finished watching your videos and you are fabulous. I loved them. I have birthdays (my kiddies) & an anniversary coming up in February...I can't wait to get the cards!!! :)I have never made a book like this and I am so excited to give it a try. Thank you for being such a wonderfully creative talented artist and sharing with us. Big, huge hugs!

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  21. I hope you feel more positive soon, Jenny.

    I often used to get depressed and it was part of my life...I found that writing it all down, just wrote anything that popped into my head, poetry etc....this all helped.

    Then I go for long country walks and just enjoy everything around me.

    You are good at writing! So you may find that putting it all on paper will help you.

    BTW your journal videos are fantastic. I love your book construction method!

    Also keeping away from the pc helped me too!
    Take care !
    xx

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  22. Thank you for sharing... there is such beauty in the "truth"!
    I do hope you worked through your feelings, in your art journaling.
    Such a wonderful place to "let go & get it all out".
    Take care, dear friend. ((hugs))

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  23. We've all been there. In fact your post reminded me so much of a post I did last august that I actually looked it up (http://caatjesartsystuff.blogspot.com/2011/08/artsy-ebbing-includes-some-spreads-from.html).

    So all I can say is...it does get better again and there's no other way to get through it but to GO through it. Wish there was an easier answer. Keeping your hands busy helps and not asking too much of yourself right now helps too. I hope you feel better soon. By the way...those ten minutes where you did feel better sure made a nice journal spread!

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  24. hugsm jenny. i hope you feel better real soon, thanks for sharing your page. xoxo

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  25. Hi Jenni; It is okay to not be okay sometimes. We all go through our ups and downs. I KNOW how you feel. It really drains all of our creativity. I had DEPRESSION for 13 years and barely produced any art, instead I wrote... and wrote, and wrote over 250 poems and other writings. But I still have good days and bad days just like everyone else. Tomorrow is another day and your sorrow will soon go away!
    Hugs and blessings
    Kelly

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  26. Oh my goodness....I'm not at all happy that you were feeling this way yesterday but I was too! I honestly had no idea why and I felt like a complete fool. You have made me feel a whole lot better. And your journal page powerfully conveys your feelings. Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving such a lovely comment. I'm lovin' this journalling community.

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  27. Hi Jenni,
    Im sorry to hear you're not feeling so great.
    One of the comments above mentioned writing about your feelings. It can really help, so it might be something to try.
    In the meantime, I would say yes, it's OK to feel not OK. Let yourself off the hook, and try not to focus too much on this feeling, because you'll get over it.
    Take care,
    emilyx

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  28. definitely can relate. Ah well, as you say, it happens to everyone. Great job of channeling feeling into a project, though.

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  29. How lucky are we that we have art to step in and make things better for us, even if it is only for ten minutes... it is sucky when you are feeling down, but we all go through it and there are times when even chocolate and red wine can't fix it.... hope the fog is starting to lift a little for you...xx

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  30. Your mood sure produced an intriguing piece of art. I'm new to your blog and enjoyed reading your profile. I can relate with your love of so many different forms of creativity.

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  31. Yep, we all have those feelings creep up on us now and then. I've been feeling in a bit of slump myself lately hence me falling behind on blog reading. I think that writing your feelings down really does help get it out of your system and, of course, doing anything creative is great therapy too. Just plod along, Jenni...it will get better. xo

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